Sunday, November 6, 2016

Embracing the Trans Community in the Workplace and on College Campuses

When being transgender comes up in conversation in my daily life, I always prepare myself to school someone. Without fail, someone will make an insensitive or ignorant comment.

“She used to be a he so I don’t know what to call him.”

“Well, I’ll just call him, ‘it.’”

Most times people are innocently coming from a place of ignorance. They may have never met a person that identifies as transgender. They may say these things and be genuinely confused by the situation.

Let’s be clear, I am not an expert on everything transgender. I don’t feel like it’s my right to tell people they are being insensitive or ignorant. However, I have been educated on how to be an ally to the LGBT community. I’ve been trained on how to work with LGBT students as they are acclimating to a college campus. 

Even though I do not work on college campus right now, it is still my duty to be an ally. As an HR professional, I strongly believe that it is our role to create safe spaces, and for lack of a better term, “check people,” when they use exclusive or hurtful language.

On college campuses, transgender related topics are becoming a big deal. 

College is a time that students find themselves. They begin to identify differently. They experiment. They learn about identity formation, and intersectionality. As students become comfortable identifying in certain ways, they begin to notice amenities and resources that are lacking. 

An area of inconvenience that transgender students tackle is housing. A student might appear to be stereotypically male, but identifies as female. Housing offices will assume said person is male, and force him to live with either other men, or in a single. This can be frustrating, annoying, and daunting. 

Many schools across the country have implemented gender neutral housing. It’s typically reserved for upper-class students in apartment and townhouse style living accommodations, but it’s a start. It allows students, both male and female, to live with one another. 

Some schools are taking other steps such as installing gender neutral restrooms: public bathrooms that are open for anyone to use regardless of gender identity. It’s a step in the right direction, even though there is plenty of work that still needs to get done.

More recently, I had a Periscope broadcast and someone asked how to approach their transgender colleague. Their colleague had recently come out as transgender and was transitioning from female to male. The curious viewer seemed very sincere. He was genuinely wondering what is appropriate to say when referring to the person’s gender.

The answer is easy. You should call the person what they prefer to be called. Ask them. The viewer’s colleague had told them he wished to use male pronouns such as he/him. If the friend has listened to and understood their colleague’s wishes, then accept their request. 

You don’t have to be an expert on transgender related issues to do or say the right thing. People that identify as transgender are used to answering questions, and letting others know how they want to be identified. Respect them. Respect their space. And don’t ask intrusive questions. It’s a learning experience for everyone. Reading this blog shows that you are open to learning and embracing differences, and that’s all that we ask.



Knowing how to refer to someone is easy. The acceptance throughout a campus or an organization may not be as easy. It sucks but it is the truth. Change is always met with resistance. Change may also be slow, but it happens with simple things, such as accepting a person’s request to use particular pronouns when referring to them. Doing this is respecting someone else’s identity, whether you “understand it,” or not. 





Thank you to Dennis Velez for co-authoring this piece with me. Dennis is a student affairs professional at the best university in Philadelphia. He is also a board member for CMB Professional Development Agency.

Sunday, October 23, 2016

Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou

Maya Angelou is my favorite poet and one of my all-time favorite black queens. Her words reflect stories of black femininity, strength, beauty and authenticity. Below is one of my favorite poems of hers, Phenomenal Woman. Enjoy :)

Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies. 
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size   
But when I start to tell them, 
They think I’m telling lies. 
I say, 
It’s in the reach of my arms, 
The span of my hips,   
The stride of my step,   
The curl of my lips.   
I’m a woman 
Phenomenally. 
Phenomenal woman,   
That’s me. 

I walk into a room 
Just as cool as you please,   
And to a man, 
The fellows stand or 
Fall down on their knees.   
Then they swarm around me, 
A hive of honey bees.   
I say, 
It’s the fire in my eyes,   
And the flash of my teeth,   
The swing in my waist,   
And the joy in my feet.   
I’m a woman 
Phenomenally. 

Phenomenal woman, 
That’s me. 

Men themselves have wondered   
What they see in me. 
They try so much 
But they can’t touch 
My inner mystery. 
When I try to show them,   
They say they still can’t see.   
I say, 
It’s in the arch of my back,   
The sun of my smile, 
The ride of my breasts, 
The grace of my style. 
I’m a woman 
Phenomenally. 
Phenomenal woman, 
That’s me. 

Now you understand 
Just why my head’s not bowed.   
I don’t shout or jump about 
Or have to talk real loud.   
When you see me passing, 
It ought to make you proud. 
I say, 
It’s in the click of my heels,   
The bend of my hair,   
the palm of my hand,   
The need for my care.   
’Cause I’m a woman 
Phenomenally. 
Phenomenal woman, 
That’s me.

Sunday, July 17, 2016

5 Hacks to Prepare for Your Promotion

Guess what everyone?!

I just got a promotion! Wooooo hoooooo! 

I went from associate to associate director of human resources and administration. It has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

Even though I knew I deserved the promotion, I was still really surprised when my supervisor gave me the news. The news came at a time when I was proud of a huge project that recently concluded. Work was good, and it was also really, really, really busy!

They promoted me and now trusted me to oversee an entire department. Whoa, this promotion is A LOT of work. Over the past couple weeks, I've spent less time at my desk because I'm always in meetings. I've let a couple things slip, which I rarely do. I was not prepared for what would come with this promotion!

I was so focused on a title and higher salary that I forgot how much additional time and effort a higher position would require of me. I'm definitely ready for the next step, but in hindsight, I wish I would have prepared better (but I'm not sorry for getting promoted six months earlier than anticipated. Owww, go me!). If you're stepping into a new role or preparing for a promotion, use these five hacks to stay on track and to be prepared for your next move. 




1. Have Systems and Organize Them
There are parts of my job that are so routine, that I can almost do them in my sleep. Most parts of my job require skill, thought and the little self-authored stickies on my desk. When your promoted and you have to turn over responsibilities to someone else, it's imperative that you have an organized system or procedure. Whether there is a software or spreadsheet required to complete the task, it is really important that you walk them through exactly what's expected and the desired outcome.

When you're training someone, make sure you are (and are perceived as) being open for questions and follow-up. If anything is unclear, you want your trainee to feel comfortable coming back to you, not making it up as they go along.




2. Stay Caught on Your Email
I'm HORRIBLE at this. Am I the only one that has a bad habit of reading an email and then forgetting to respond or move it to another file? Ok, maybe I am... :)

Instead of letting emails pile up, either respond or go ahead and put it in a different folder. If it's junk, just delete it. I was super behind on emails while planning the retreat. In this new position, I get scores of new email every day so I fell even more behind.

I swallowed my pride and took one Sunday afternoon to catch up on emails. It was tough for me to devote a weekend day to #worklife, but as a leader within an organization, we have to set the example. If anyone should be spending extra time at work during the big transition, it's me. I cleaned up my email and setup rules for FYI emails. When you setup a rule in Outlook, gmail or another email provide, you're telling your email to put messages that meet a certain criteria, in a particular folder. It's really help if you are cc'ed on administrative emails. Here is an article about how to create rules.





3. Know Who the Players Are
In my new position, I'm working with different parts of the business than before. It's really interesting, and I'm looking forward to learning more. Since it is all new to me, I setup meetings with key people in different departments. In the meeting, we discussed exactly what they do and how our positions interact. I want to excel in the position, and to do that, I need to learn the current systems and procedures from the people that actually implement them. 

Setting up introductions with key players is also a great way to strengthen your work relationships. Having a good rapport with people goes a long way within any organization. You can get to know colleagues with 1:1 meetings, as well as attending company social events. 





4. Have a Plan
When we dream of a promotion, rarely do we highly anticipate, spending long hours at work, or still doing grunt work. We think of the perks. I encourage you to enjoy your perks while you have them, but I also want to remind you, you're still climbing the organizational ladder. Now that you've completed one goal, what's next? What are your goals for the new position?

The answers to these questions might be really clear, such as the next title within the company. You might have to do a goal-setting exercise with your manager or yourself figure out the next steps. Take your time with the process but make sure you have a plan. 





5. Don't Forget Time Management
The final point hack is the most important. In your current position, you have probably mastered time management skills (duh!). In the new position, you must adjust your current methods to account for new responsibilities, meetings and time commitments. 

I've talked about scheduling blocking quite a bit on Periscope. I like using that for my work calendar, and since taking on the new responsibilities, I've had to incorporate new time-sensitive commitments. I'm also challenged to actually follow my schedule. While building relationships and taking on new responsibilities, it can be hard to fit everything into the work day, but you have to figure out a way. You have to effectively manage your time so you can maintain a healthy work-life balance. 


If you're looking for more information about leadership, time management and generally being a boss at work, check out our CMB Mentor program. We have webinars and videos about time management, work life balance, motivation at work and more. Access to the program is free when you sign-up here. 



CMB Professional Development Agency is a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization. For more information about CMB, visit our website at www.thecolormeb.com.


Tuesday, May 10, 2016

The Networking Secret Every Millennial Should Know about Their Mentor

Yesssss!!! 2016 has been a year of women running the world. Ask Beyonce. Ask Hilary. Ask Taraji. Tell yourself and embrace it! It is our time ladies and it feels great.

You may have even found yourself finding a mentor  in your field. Yay! Awesome! Go, you!

Having a mentor can be an amazing professional development resource. For us millennials, mentors are awesome because they can show us the ropes in our professional industry and (high-key) check us on the personal faux pas newbies can make in the workplace. They share this wisdom in love and compassion too. But before you and your mentor reach this point, you have to get through that first, possibly super awkward, introductory meeting.

During my first meeting with my mentor, I spent the first few minutes trying to "figure her out." I knew she was "down," but you never know how open or comfortable a professional colleague will be in a non-work setting. Part of my anxiety came from my own insecurities and wanting to come across as a mature, professional, well-put-together (what does that even mean? I'm not.) career woman. But the other part was me being intimidated, sitting down with a successful corporate attorney. 

I wish someone would have told me, "Courtney, it's not that serious." A mentor-mentee relationship is a positive, empowering and motivating relationship. Once you get over the initial nerves of meeting a new person, you'll quickly find that your mentor is bomb.com, willing to help you and share wisdom, AND she's probably a really cool chick! Here are three tips to help you with that first meeting -

1. Choose Your Mentor Carefully
There are dozens of ways to find a mentor. I was lucky enough to connect with a young African American woman attorney while working at a law firm. You can connect with mentors through your work, community organizations, sororities, nonprofit organizations and programs such as CMB Mentor




When selecting a mentor, you should make sure that person will be able to meet the expectations you have for that relationship. In other words, what do you want from a mentor? A listening ear, advice on your career, sisterly guidance? Find a mentor that is willing to help with your needs. You should also be careful when selecting a mentor because some people may expect payment for mentorship. Be very clear about what you're looking for and go for it. Online communities such as CMB Mentor are a great place to start to meet like-minded career women.



2. Be Yourself
When you sit down with your mentor or meet virtually, remember to be yourself. You may be nervous to meet your mentor, but your mentor is also thinking about making a great relationship with you. Your mentor may be just as nervous about impressing you and making that genuine connection. You can set the tone by being yourself and having your normal, cool, and "woke" conversation.



In a time where everyone is on Snapchat, some are always flexing on Instagram and everybody and their mama has a Facebook, we all appreciate genuine human interaction. In a mentor-mentee relationship, we are looking to connect with another person that is interested in our career and professional aspirations. Be yourself when you meet your mentor and let your awesome personality shine. Your mentor will be more open to connecting with you and you'll make honesty and transparency a foundation of your new relationship.

3. Plan an Activity
Plan some epic ish for your first meet-up! Even if it's online, plan to have a delicious dinner prepared while you meet. If you're lucky enough to find a mentor in your city, invite them to a poetry event you've wanted to try or a cool cafe you want to check out. Because you took the time to choose a really cool and like-minded mentor, they will enjoy the activity you choose. Also, planning the activity shows initiative and a commitment to seeing your relationship succeed. Your mentor will appreciate it, and you'll definitely have a good time because you chose the activity!




I did a Periscope about breaking the ice with your mentor when we first started CMB Mentor. Sign-up for CMB Mentor and you can get access to the full video, access to our monthly Blab meet-ups and our exclusive Facebook group for career and college women leaders! Click here for more information!

xoxo,
Courtney
Click here to join CMB Mentor!


Sunday, April 17, 2016

Sparkly Metals Made My Work Outfit Fun & Amazing!


What's up everyone!


I am super excited to check-in and talk about some #WERKFashion!

As you know, being present and being true to myself is a high priority for me in 2016. Hustlapreneur life can get crazy busy, and it's easy to get caught up in the busy-ness of everyday life, and forget to relish your accomplishments and success. I'm all about celebrating me and you in 2016! 

I'm also working on getting to know myself and sharing my authentic self with others. Fashion is a huge part of my everyday life. From me stressing over what to wear each morning, to falling asleep online shopping, I spend a lot of time thinking about what to wear. As a curvy, millennial, woman of color, working in corporate america, I'm conscious of how I represent myself and my community in the workplace. I want to have that reputation of being a compassionate, business-savvy, impeccably-dressed power woman at work. 

I usually get my fashion faves at TJ Maxx, Old Navy and H&M. Their clothes are good quality, affordable and really cute (don't go in there on pay day and mess up your life!). 

This past week, I knew it was going to be cray at work; so I made sure my business casual clothes were clean and ready to wear (yea, I did about 5 load of laundry on Sunday). One day, I wore a fashion tee from TJ Maxx, black skinny jeans, suede booties and a navy blue blazer. I wanted to dress it up, so I brought out my brand new Stella Dot accessories. Small disclaimer - I'm still mastering the full body shot so you get an up close and personal view my accessories. 



I love me some big, shiny jewelry (sue me). I'm in love with this necklace that looks great with a basic tee, from SD. I'm also wearing my new studs from S&D. The studs are awesome because they're classic. They go with so many different looks. Plus, it's just enough sparkle to make it pop.

I can't wait to share more #WERKfashion with you! I'd love to see yours too! Share your outfits on instagram and tag @thecolormeb and #WERKfashion. 

Here's some more #WERKfashion for you on our YouTube channel. Watch fashion designer and entrepreneur, Ari Takata-Vasquez tell us about transitioning from daytime to nighttime wear. Sign-up for our mailing list here and get connected with other fashionistas and hustlapreneurs.



Sunday, April 3, 2016

Time to Embrace All Your Magic + Start Flourishing, Sis!


Join me for this free webinar on Thursday, April 7 at 7:30pm EST!

"Hustlapreneur's Guide to Career Success" will help you assess the first part of 2016 and create actionable goals for the remainder of the year. More specifically, we will:

1. Do a quick assessment of Q1 and all its amazingness!

2. Create SMARTER goals for Q2.

3. Of course, ki-ki about some of my plunders in Q1 to learn from them + more! 

I'm also going to include a worksheet to use as we go through the session. This webinar is part of CMB Mentor. Click here to learn more about the program.

Of course, if you want some #womenpower inspiration before that, you can sign-up here and get access to #SheLeads2016 E-Conference sessions. 



Sunday, March 27, 2016

This Millennial Fashion Visionary Opened Her Own Store Before 25


Ari Takata-Vasquez is an entrepeneur, visionary and BOSS!

We really enjoyed learning about how she started her company and opened a store front all in her 20's! Ari is the truth and an excellent role model for other millennial women. Watch the interview below -




Watch more career women tell their story!

Career women from many industries including health sciences, human resources, PR, business, production and more, participated in #SheLeads2016 virtual conference. Our facilitators shared tips on networking, taking on leadership roles at work, self-care and more! Sign-up here and get access to interactive + fantastic workshops!